Monday, December 14, 2009

My 'not so expert' mommyisms....

It is said that EVERY pregnancy is different and EVERY child is different. That may be true but during all of my pregnancies there was one constant. ADVICE. From the woman at the grocery store rubbing my belly to the women who thought they KNEW. IT. ALL. All the advice was well intended I'm sure but man did it get old hearing about how I was doing this wrong or that wrong or how I needed to this that way or that this way. The advice doesn't end once you give birth. Oh no. It continues and it doesn't matter how many kids you have. In fact. The more kids you do have the more people feel the need to chime in. I try hard not to give my two cents worth on everything I encounter. Do I have my opinion? Of course. We ALL do. But if it isn't a close friend or relative then I try not to give my not so expert advice unless it is asked for. I do however want to post about some of the things I have learned. Take it or don't. Leave it or don't. Or simply add some mommyisms of your own.

The birthing process is beautiful. It hurts. But it is an AWESOME experience. Make sure you get what YOU want and don't let doctors, nurses, or family get in the way of that. Epidurals are great but I also love the fact that I had one birth without any meds...and I probably will never do it again....

Nursing is HARD. Don't let anyone tell you it isn't. I gave up with my first child. I made it 16 months with my second child who never had formula and I'm on my second month of no formula with my third. EVERY SINGLE DAY, at least once, I want to give him a bottle of formula but I don't. DO NOT keep formula in the house. Give those samples away or throw them out. If you have it to give then it is WAY TOO EASY to just give in. "just one bottle" WILL turn into more and more. Don't feel bad if you give up. It is VERY hard. The BEST thing you can do is to get a support group. I don't mean a lactation consultant, while they are wonderful people for advice, you need someone who has been there recently who can talk you down without criticizing you. Let me know if I can help you with that. Nursing is a decision you have to make and I mean REALLY MAKE in order for it to work.

Babies cry. Thats what they do and my daughter was an EXPERT at it. Its ok. I'm not a big fan of CIO (cry it out) BUT after my babies have been fed, burped, and changed if they were still crying and I needed a shower then on the bed they would go while I would shower. Some people suggest putting them where you can't hear them...I don't like that. But if you need a moment to yourself then put them in a safe place and take that MOMENT...not an hour. We all need to breath and if you have a collicky baby then you WILL NEED that moment so don't feel bad about it. Invest in GRIPE WATER. Mylicon drops are ok but I would have to give my child a whole bottle almost for it to make a difference (and no that doesn't hurt them) and then it would only work for about 30 minutes. Gripe water saved my sanity with my daughter. It is all natural and SOOOO WONDERFUL.

Doctors really don't know EVERYTHING about mothering. If your baby is peeing and pooping appropriate to his/her age then he is probably healthy. Those growth charts are really meaningless. Trust your instincts. The doctor will probably make you feel inferior especially if you are a first time mom. Don't let them. Listen to what they say and take what you need. Discard the rest.

Hold your baby. Sleep with your baby. Carry your baby. These things don't spoil them. They build bonds. We have a bassinet in our room and we use it but I will sleep with my child in favor for more sleep if thats what it takes. I have done this with all three and the older two have no problems sleeping in their own beds and it wasn't a struggle to break a bad habbit either.

Say no. Get use to the word. Thats what spoils kids...NOT saying no.

Let your child choose what he wants for breakfast IF you haven't fixed breakfast for the family. Let him choose what he wants to wear. But for heaven's sake learn to put your foot down on certain subjects. One thing that my kids will NOT choose is whether or not they attend church. Oh but 'that takes away their freedom' you say. Yep and I'm ok with that. Looking at the alternative I feel I have no other choice. I have heard...It is their choice and they just don't want to...WAY too many times. You are the parent MAKE THEM. And before you think I don't know what I'm talking about because I only have a 5 year old...think again. I have taken a BIG role in my brother and sisters lives (14 and 12). I PROMISE you...start now with the discipline or you'll regret it later. Some things just simply aren't choices until you are grown and gone.

Again...these are my OPINIONS. They are not the 'mommy must have' or 'mommy must do' laws. They are what works for ME and my family. The baby is awake now so I must stop and go play but be on the lookout for more Makia Mommyisms...maybe even later today....

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Jolly Fat Guy in a Big Red Suit

My family LOVES Christmas. Now that I can listen to christmas music you can bet it is on everytime I get in my car. We are enjoying seeing the beautiful christmas lights going up everywhere...and just as a note...a two year old doesn't see 'tacky' lights. All they see is the "LOOK MOMMY! PRETTY HOUSE!". I on the other hand do shudder at some of the decorations. It's getting cold here and you can find Christmas music and decor in almost any store. So my house is getting a little excited.

It's important to note that Christmas in my house is about celebrating the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. Sure, we have a tree and decorations and presents, but Jordan, and soon Alana and Zayne, know what we are celebrating. We have movies and books about the sweet baby Jesus being born and we watch and read them over and over again during this time of the year.

When Matt and I had Jordan we never discussed Santa Claus. I think we both just assumed that because we 'believed' in Santa as kids that we would do the whole Santa thing with our own kids. So we did. Until last year. A close friend of mine doesn't do santa with her kids and we discussed it some. I never really set out to make Christmas about a fake tradition but thats what had happened so when Jordan came to me and asked me if Santa was real...I wasn't going to lie and I told him no. There were no tears. It wasn't a big shock. He just said "So you and daddy get me the presents?" and to this I responded ABSOLUTELY! This didn't warp his little personality nor did it ruin his Christmas. We still made muffins together on Christmas eve and left them out with milk for mommy and daddy. And mommy and daddy enjoyed them while we were up till the wee hours of the morning putting out gifts. This year he will be making us chocolate chip cookies. We will also be making a birthday cake for Jesus! Jordan is excited about this!

Now, you can understand that this is a 5 year old we are talking about. He doesn't quite grasp the idea that you don't have to tell everyone you know everyTHING you know. I'm just waiting on the first mom to come pounding on my door red in the face and upset that their little Johnny's christmas was ruined because my terrible son told him that the jolly fat guy in a big red suit isn't real. Thankfully most of the kids that my son sees that I also see their parents don't believe in Santa either. I suppose we will just have to wait and see how this all plays out. As for our other kids or any future child...they will never get a gift from 'santa'...I know we're horrible but oh well. We have our own little special things for Christmas and they don't have to include the jolly fat guy in a big red suit. Who wants to give him all the credit for shopping and standing in lines and paying and wrapping or putting things together anyway?!?!?!